


Everyday Life with the Ponds

by savvyliterate



Series: With the Ponds [5]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-24
Updated: 2012-09-09
Packaged: 2017-11-12 18:59:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/494582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savvyliterate/pseuds/savvyliterate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a terraced home on a quiet street in London, behind a door of the bluest blue, Amy Pond and Rory Williams had a little family that no one knew about. It was somewhat broken, but it was still a very good family.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Midnight Snack

**Author's Note:**

> I'd been wanting to do a series of Pond family-oriented short stories for awhile. With the BBC running "Pond Life" leading up to the series 7 premiere, I figured it was a good time to finally gather these stories together and post them. I changed the summary from Leadworth to London after "Asylum of the Daleks" showed that Amy and Rory's home gifted to them by the Doctor is in London.

Rory rolled over, reached for Amy and found a warm spot where his wife should be. He cracked open one eye to see Amy by the door, holding a cricket bat in one hand while peering through the small opening in the door.

"Amy, what are you doing? And where did we get a cricket bat?" Rory asked.

"Your Uncle Hershel gave us a cricket set as a wedding gift. There's someone in the kitchen." The last two words were drowned out by a sudden clatter of pans. "I think it's burglars."

Rory sighed and got up, grabbing his dressing gown. "I don't think we need them. I've two guesses as to who's in the kitchen," he said as the fire alarm went off.

His guesses were correct.

They raced downstairs to find the Doctor and River in the once-neat kitchen, covered head to foot in batter. A pan on the stove was billowing smoke, and River was armed with a fire extinguisher. Flames licked around the covered pan before being buried beneath foam as River put out the fire. "I got it, honey!" River yelled over the noise.

The Doctor pulled out his sonic. "Where's the fire alarm?"

"In the hall! By the ..." The alarm cut off. "Stairs," River finished, then peered around the Doctor. "Hello, Mum. Dad."

"What on Earth are you two doing?" Amy asked, putting the cricket bat down as Rory palmed the batteries he'd taken from the fire alarm. 

"We were just at a party on Xfrit. Third century, the pinnacle of King Rufan IX's reign and one of the prime eras of art and culture on the plant." The Doctor indicated his tuxedo and the elaborate evening gown that River wore, both liberally splashed with the results of their kitchen mishap. "We got a bit hungry and decided we wanted _okonomiyaki,_ but decided that you two should have some as well!"

"A Japanese street food," River explained as she opened a window to air out the room. "The Doctor suggested taking you two to Osaka."

"But River suggested we cook for you here!" The Doctor whisked the top of the pan off to reveal a blackened cake. He scratched his nose. "Dear, I don't think it's suppose to turn out like that."

River leaned over the pan and jabbed at it with a fork. "No, it's a little overcooked, my love."

"Do either of you know how to cook properly?" Rory asked.

The Doctor scoffed. "I tutored Julia Child myself!"

"In which incarnation?" Amy took the pan and dumped the contents in the sink so she could wash it down the garbage disposal. Or tried in any case. It made a loud grinding sound, then began to bark. "Doctor, what did you do to the garbage disposal?"

"Improved it, Amelia Pond! Listen to that disposal purr!"

"It's literally purring!"

"Right." Rory threw up his hands and headed into the hall for his coat. "The chippy a couple blocks over is still open. River, let's go get everyone some food while the Doctor fixes our garbage disposal."

"Oh, come on, Dad," River coaxed. "You can do better than that. Why don't I drive the TARDIS to Osaka and pick up some street food there?"

"It's after midnight. Your mum and I are in our pyjamas, and I don't even want to know what you and the Doctor are covered in. Let's just get you some food, clean the kitchen up, and we need to head back to bed."

"Dad." River turned pleading eyes to him, and Rory felt something in his heart twist. He had no clue as to how old River was at that moment, they hadn't synced diaries or anything yet, but he could feel his daughter wrapping him neatly around her little finger. "Please? I really want to spend some time with you."

Rory firmly resolved not to give into those big, green eyes.

\-----

_Twenty minutes later_

"This is called _takoyaki_?" Amy stuffed another ball in her mouth and chewed. "It's good! Just don't tell me what's in it."

Rory worked on his _okonomiyaki_ , which was really quite good. River and the Doctor hadn't been kidding when they had talked up the excellent street food in Japan. They stood near a stall in Osaka on a steamy August night in 2004, the Doctor and River in their ruined evening clothes, and Amy and Rory in their pyjamas and dressing gowns. They only drew a few stares and whispers. "What's in takoyaki?" Rory whispered to River.

"Octopus," she replied, and Rory decided it was wise not to mention it to Amy.


	2. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "River, take them all home," the Doctor ordered as he swept into the TARDIS to find another version of the woman who'd revealed herself to be Melody Pond. Too bad, River thought, he didn't mention what to do next.

They arrived in a burst of smoke and time,  precisely two weeks to the day that Amy and Rory announced they were off on a trip to America to visit a friend, and they’d be back soon.  
  
It was the first time she had been in the ground-floor flat in her current incarnation. She was more used to seeing them in the house the Doctor had gifted them a bit later on. But at the same time, it was as familiar as her cell at Stormcage. Mels had frequented the place - literally taking over the small spare bedroom at times. Everything was the same as she remembered from so many years ago, the IKEA furniture, the books scattered about that she, Rory and Amy had used to track the Doctor through time and space.  
  
Amy and Rory moved stiffly, arms around each other as if one would slip through the floor if they let go. They blinked slowly as their eyes adjusted to the living room, brighter than the darkened hall they’d been trapped in at Demon’s Run. Someone had been by, had left fresh groceries and the mail. A note was taped to the fridge, signed by Rory’s parents. Yes, of course, River thought, they’d always been one to think of things like this.  
  
She turned to find Rory staring intently at her as Amy turned away. They had questions, she had answers. She’d been preparing for this day since not long after her incarceration, and she learned the truth about the backwardness of her own future. There was nothing to be done by standing here, River firmly told herself and strode into the kitchen to make them all a cup of tea.  
  
“You have my eyes. Kind of,” Rory said after a moment.  
  
River put the kettle on and didn’t say anything. She didn’t many parental resemblances carried through regenerations, but if it made them feel better, she’d let them think it.   
  
“And Amy’s face. Doesn’t she have your face?”  
  
Amy slowly lifted her head, and her eyes were empty. Stark. Bleak. “Why are you talking? Why are the two of you saying anything?” Her head snapped around, and those brilliant eyes filled with tears. “Can’t you just leave? You weren’t here when we needed you, so just leave us alone.”  
  
The words  hurt , but it wasn’t as bad as when Amy had held a gun on her minutes earlier … or when the Doctor had hurled the same statement in River’s face with so much venom that for a moment she had feared she had accidentally ruined their future by doing as she was told. “Amy, I know you’re in a lot of pain …”  
  
“How do you know? You just come swanning in here after everything is over. How do I know you’re not lying now? How do I know you’re really Melody?” Amy pushed Rory away from her and stalked over to River as the kettle began to boil.   
  
“Because the Doctor believes her, Amy,” Rory called out. Amy looked away, and a tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
“I’m not quite Time Lord, but I have the memory of one,” River said after a moment, looking down at the silver electric kettle, absently admiring the technology. It’d been a gift from Mels. Stolen from Marks & Spencer, but no one ever mentioned that -- after all, they'd never caught her. “The very first memory I have as a child was being told of a man who would do anything for me, who was very ancient. The Last Centurion. I was also told that I might not always be protected or loved, but I was to be very, very brave.”  
  
Amy kept staring at a fixed point on the elaborate setup of IKEA shelving. Rory looked torn between going to his wife and going to his daughter, and River pulled mugs out of the cabinet, quietly pleased she was able to keep her hands from trembling.  
  
The buzzer sounded like an alarm suddenly going off, and all of them jumped. River’s hand immediately flew to her gun before it dropped away, a movement so fast and fluid that thankfully no one caught it.  
  
“Hello!” An achingly voice familiar echoed in the front hall, and River’s heart lept into her throat. “You two better be back, it’s been boring without you around. You've been gone for ages. Hope you didn’t mind, I bummed on the couch here a couple nights. And I didn’t kill that fern of yours, Rory, just so you know.”  
  
“Mels,” Amy choked out, and she flew into the small entrance hall.   
  
“I have to go.” River’s fingers were already flying over the vortex manipulator, keying in coordinates.  
  
“You can’t just leave. Not now.”  
  
River’s gaze met her father’s. “I have to. Especially now.” She hesitated, then said the one thing she’d never remembered telling her parents at any time of her life. There’d been only one person she’d ever said it to, and it had taken years and years before she could get it out without choking. “Please, remember that no matter what happens, I love you.” She disappeared just as Amy and Mels walked into the room.  
  
“What was that?” Mels asked.  
  
Neither Amy or Rory could answer her.


	3. 50 Shades of Something

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I was off to play a round golf with Jack Nicklaus. Ran into River while I was picking out my lucky putter. She said she was coming here to read a book with you,” the Doctor chirped as he all but bounced into Amy and Rory’s living room. He clapped his hands. “I love a good book reading!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for any emotional or physical damage caused by quoting "50 Shades of Grey" in this chapter.

“Oh, _no_.”

Amy was about to head into Marks and Spencer when she heard the rather exasperated utterance. She turned to see River standing in front of Waterstones, sunglasses tilted down as she glared at the shop window.

“What’s the matter?” She headed back to River to look at the display. Dark-colored books featuring grey objects were everywhere, stacked in neat piles. “Oh, I heard of this. _50 Shades of Grey_ , yeah? Mum suggested them to me.”

River choked, then began to cough. “Tab … Tabetha is reading _those_?”

“What’s the matter with them?”

“Amy. Amy, Amy.” River wrapped an arm around Amy’s shoulders and steered her away from the window. “Just everything. Did you know they started off as _Twilight_ fanfiction?”

Amy wrinkled her nose a bit. “Really? They can’t be that good.”

“The books have outsold _Harry Potter_ on the Internet.”

“Really?” Amy gawked at her. “But … But, that’s _Harry Potter_!”

“I know!” They took a moment to mourn this rather unfortunate turn of events.

Amy peered at the shop window. “Just how bad is it?”

“Borrow your mother’s copy. We'll read it tonight. I’ll bring the wine. Trust me. You’ll need it.”

\-----

River brought wine … and the Doctor.

“I was off to play a round golf with Jack Nicklaus. Ran into River while I was picking out my lucky putter. She said she was coming here to read a book with you,” the Doctor chirped as he all but bounced into Amy and Rory’s living room. He clapped his hands. “I love a good book reading! Went back and saw Charles Dickens do a reading once. Well, didn’t get to see as much of it as I’d like. Had a little run-in with the Gelth.”

“Sweetie, I keep telling you, you’re going to hate this book,” River said as she followed, wine bottle and glasses in hand. “It’s atrociously written and makes Stephanie Meyer look like Jane Austen in comparison.” 

“Well, it’s not like I can go golfing with Nicklaus now, can I?” The Doctor pressed his nose into River’s face. “Because someone ‘accidentally’ used my flat cap to repair a part on the TARDIS console.”

River merely smiled. “Didn’t you know how much smoother the ride was here?”

He dropped his voice a couple of octaves, nearly pressing his hips into hers. “I should make you replace it.” 

“Maybe you should,” she purred.

Rory walked in with a plate of sandwiches and sighed. “It’s like they forget we’re even here,” he commented to Amy.

“Come on, you two! Flirt later,” Amy called out with a grin. “I want to see what this book’s all about! Look, I found a drinking game online.”

\-----

River suggested they skip straight to chapter 8, largely because otherwise they’d only make it through chapter 2 after quitting out of sheer boredom. Amy highly approved of this.

“First of the sex scenes,” she informed Rory and the Doctor. Rory was doing his best to ignore them by playing solitaire on the laptop while the Doctor had grabbed the Kindle that River had given Amy for Christmas and was using the sonic to give her unlimited access to Amazon’s bookstore.

“Boring, boring, boring … Really? How could she have never done that? ” Amy shoved the book in River’s face.

“Plenty of people don’t do that . Depending on the religion, it's considered a sin. Others believe it still causes blindness.”

Amy shook her head. “They’re really missing out.”

“I agree." River poured out wine for herself and Amy.

“Missing out on what?” The Doctor asked.

“Nothing, honey,” River replied. She took the book from Amy and quickly flipped the pages ahead before he could grab the book from her. He peered over her shoulder and winced. She grimaced.

“How bad is it?” Amy picked up her wine glass. 

“Try ‘a weird pinching sensation deep inside me as he rips through my virginity.’”

Amy shuddered and downed the entire glass in three gulps. “Rory, where’s the Scotch?”

Rory quickly fetched the bottle and poured a drink for himself while he was at it.

“That really isn’t anatomically correct,” the Doctor pointed out. "Well, not for humans. But for the Draxi ..."

“When is it ever, sweetie?” River started to skip ahead, but the Doctor took the book from her and began reading for himself.

“Wrong. Wrong. Wrong … does it really feel like the spin cycle on a washing machine when that happens for you, dear?”

River snorted. “Not hardly. Sweetie, if you were making me feel like that, you'd be doing something very wrong.”

“Please, please, don’t discuss your sex life in front of me,” Rory pleaded.

“Where’s the really good stuff?” Amy took the book back from the Doctor and skipped entire sections of it. She read, then shuddered. “Ohmigod, he just hit _that_ with a riding crop?”

“You know, the Parthenians have a ritual involving a bamboo riding crop, three genital piercings and a wart,” the Doctor supplied.

Rory silently took another drink and prayed for the night to end.

\-----

They wound up finishing off the wine, the Scotch, two packets of biscuits and somehow got to the end of the book.

Amy leaned against River’s back, lazily watching the clock tick slowly toward 3 a.m. “Last time we did this was my hen night. Remember that?”

River chuckled and twirled the stem of her wine glass. “Remember the stripper I managed to get?”

“Oh, she was impressive,” Amy said with a salute of her empty wine glass.

“ _She?_ ” Rory sleepily said from the couch, where he’d curled up and fallen asleep some time around chapter 23. “You had a female stripper? I just had the bloody Doctor.”

“And he wore too many clothes,” Amy declared, then flinched. “Oh, that just sounds so wrong now.”

“Yes, Mummy dear, it does.”

“Can’t believe I ever had a crush on the Doctor,” Amy continued, tilting her glass so the light could catch the last drops of wine gathered at the bottom. “I mean, look at him.”

River slid a glance to her husband. He was upside down in the wingback chair, long, gangly legs hooked over the chair’s back, and his hair brushed the carpet. He was reading through the entire book, muttering under his breath. “He’s the Doctor,” she said with affection.

“And yours. God, I am so sorry I kissed him, River. Then told you. Then again, you were Mels back then, and I didn’t know.” 

“It’s like you say I was a bad kisser,” the Doctor pouted just a bit.

“To be perfectly honest … you were a bit rubbish.” Amy rolled to her feet, proud she only managed to stagger just slightly. “Let’s go to bed, Rory.” She looked at the couch to find Rory had fallen back asleep, a pillow cradled in his arms. She crept over to him. “Look at my stupid face. Isn’t he adorable?” She pulled the afghan off the back of the sofa, tucked it around him and kissed him gently. “You two staying?”

“Yes. We’ll be up in a minute.” River collected the empty wine bottle and glasses as Amy stumbled toward the stairs.

The Doctor promptly slammed the book shut and tumbled out of the chair, nearly kicking Rory in the face. “Well, that was perfectly horrible.”

“Yes, it was.” River helped him to his feet and leaned on him a bit as they headed to the kitchen.

He waved the book. “I’ve a theory about this book, dear.”

“What’s that?”

“E.L. James is a Slitheen.”

“Sweetie, how much of that wine have you had?”

“None, and you know I’m right on this.” He tapped her nose.

River sighed. “Let’s go to bed, sweetie.”

Five weeks later, the Doctor was proven right. Amy, Rory, and River agreed that his smug comments for the next two days were insufferable and managed to get him stuck in a ball pit at an amusement park on Troxia as punishment. The balls were known for eating hats.


	4. Defense

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was Rory's job to defend his daughter no matter what -- even if it was from her husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is Charina's fault.

It was several years before Rory thought back to that horrible, horrible day -- when they realized Amy had been taken by the Church, pregnant and afraid and forced to give birth alone. Then River had told Rory that she couldn't go with them, and he hadn't understood at the time. And the Doctor, well ... he had said only one thing. One nasty, bone-chilling phrase that Rory had forgotten until the Christmas the Doctor had finally shown up again almost two years after faking his death.

Rory stood at the kitchen window watching snow softly fall on the outdoor furniture in the back garden. 

And he _remembered_.

"Rory! Amy sent me in for ..."

Rory pivoted and promptly slugged the Doctor, slamming him back into the fridge.

"Rory!" Amy yelled, rushing to the Doctor. "What did he do?"

He stalked to the Doctor. "Don't you _ever_ do to River what you threatened to do before Demon's Run. If you do, I will hunt you down and run you through."

"What? What did he say? Doctor?" Amy stared at them, confused and a bit frightened.

The Doctor wiped his bloodied lip with the back of his hand. "No, he has a right to slug me for that," he admitted.

"What did you say?" Amy demanded again.

Rory stared him down. "Go on. Tell her. Tell her what you told me when River said she couldn't come with us."

The Doctor stared at the floor.

"He said," Rory told Amy, "that he would eradicate her from his future. Change everything. You know what that means?"

"Yes," said a hoarse voice from the kitchen door. Rory looked over his shoulder to see his daughter, packages hanging limply from her hand, face pale and drawn. "I know exactly what that means."

\-----

Amy took the Doctor off to tend to his lip, and Rory and River stood in the kitchen.

"I'm sorry," he told her. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Don't be." River rummaged through the wine cabinet and found a very good vintage. "I suspected as much."

"You've done Demon's Run?" Rory handed her an empty glass.

"Yes. Not that long ago though. Just long enough for him to come back, to apologize over and over for something he said. It was the first thing he did apparently, after leaving you behind. I didn't ask him, but I knew it had to be bad." River gave him a wan smile. "It was."

"I'm sorry, too," Rory said. He leaned against the counter and stared miserably at the cabinets. "Even though I didn't know at the time, that you were Melody, I should have defended you. You didn't deserve that. You wanted to come. I told him. I should have thought about it. But, I admit, I was angry with you."

"You'd every right to be angry with me. I could see it. In your eyes." River chuckled sadly and played with the empty wine glass. "That was the worst part, really. I disappointed you."

"You were a good girl," Rory quickly retorted. "You did as you were told, even if we were too stupid to realize it. You didn't do anything wrong."

He reached for her, pulling his little girl into his arms and held on with everything that he could. "Do you want to go see him?"

"The Doctor and I deal with it later," River said, hugging him just as fiercely. "I was looking forward to spending time with you and Amy. I'm sure she's threatening him within an inch of his life right now."

"So Scottish," he said, and they laughed. "Well, there's something I've always wanted to learn how to do."

\-----

_Three weeks later_

River looked up from the archeology journal she was reading to see Rory standing on the other side of her cell door, dressed in Roman costume and wearing a vortex manipulator. He procured the Doctor's sonic and waved it. "I just came from Christmas 2012. You have no idea how hard it was for me to steal this," he said.

"I think he would sleep with it if I left him." River sprang off the cot. 

"I can't believe I'm learning how to break into a jail cell."

"You get used to it. A little spoiler there. Remember what I told you?"

Rory concentrated then waved the sonic at her cell door. The sprinklers promptly turned on.

"Damn it," he muttered and tried again. This time, mariachi music played from the alarm system.

"Very festive!" River shouted over the maracas. She reached through the bars and laid her hands over Rory's, helping him do the correct moves to get the bars open. She took her father's arm. "Well, where to, Dad?"

"Since I'm dressed for the part, how about Roman theatre?"

"Love it!" River leaned over to key in the coordinates and left the mariachi music playing as they disappeared into the past.


	5. Answerphone Messages #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the Doctor left his message on the answerphone in April, Amy and Rory found one from their daughter -- spoilers for episode 1 of "Pond Life."

The day after the Doctor left his message on the answerphone, Amy and Rory came home from work to find one from their daughter.

"Hello, Mum and Dad. It's been awhile, so I figured wanted to let you know how I was doing.

I just got back from rescuing the Doctor from the fire waterfalls of Florida 9. He took the surfboard that was meant to be used on the ice glaciers of Alaska 3 and ran into a bit of a hot mess there. Bless. 

Then, I accepted an assignment to track down the names of the spies Mata Hari leaked to the Germans in 1917. Had a bit of an interesting evening regarding her, the Doctor and a crumpet. I really shouldn't get into it more than that. 

I then ran into the Doctor recording some backing vocals on a rap album in 2004. Mum, there are things the Doctor should _never_ do. I'm on my way to the nearest supernova to burn that ridiculous hat he was wearing. Shooting it just wasn't enough. Don't worry, I also managed to aim my gun so it took out the recording. That thing gets out and it'll set the rapping industry back years! My love to you both, and I'll pop around soon!"


	6. Midnight Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Doctor's unexpected visit, Amy decides to get some reassurance. Spoilers for episode 2 of "Pond Life."

It really had been an exhausting three weeks doing consulting work on an archaeology dig on New Earth, stopping a plague from devouring East Paranall and going out for a quiet evening with the Doctor only to be confronted by a band of rogue Cybermen.

But when the mobile hidden in the wall of River’s cell began to buzz, she immediately reached for it and answered it. “Amy?” she murmured sleepily into it.

“Hi. The Doctor’s just been here. He burst into our bedroom again.”

“Were you doing anything?”

“Sleeping!”

“It doesn’t stop him.” River rolled onto her back and kneaded her temples. 

“Look, just tell me something. Is the world safe? I mean, really, really safe? Rory and I aren’t going back to sleep until we know.”

“It depends. When is it for you?”

“May 16, 2012.”

“Mmm … hmm …” River began to mentally flip through her diary. “What bow tie was he wearing?”

“I don’t know? Uh … blue? I think? It was dark.”

“Was he carrying a harpoon?”

“If he was, he left it outside the door. River, nothing’s going on, right?”

River didn’t say anything.

“River, you’re scaring me. River?”

“I’d advise avoiding _Jurassic Park_ for the next … well, I just wouldn’t ever watch it again.”

“That’s not helping us!”

“I’ll visit soon. Love you.” River quickly ended the call, threw back the covers, rolled to her feet and wondered where she put that elephant gun.

Amy pulled the phone away from her ear and stared at it. 

“Well?” Rory asked. “Is everything OK?”

“Yeah. Sure. Fine.” She stared down at her husband. “We’re in a lot of trouble, aren’t we?”

“Yup.” Rory sighed and buried his head under his pillow.


	7. Morning Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There was an Ood on their loo. With a morning that started like that, Amy and Rory weren't at all surprised by what happened next -- spoilers for episode 3 of "Pond Life".

As Amy and Rory stood gaping at the Ood, the front door banged open.

"Where is it?" The Doctor was yelling as he tore through the entrance hall. Amy and Rory winced in tandem as the sound of shattering glass echoed. 

"Please don't let that be Gran's good china," Amy moaned and warily they turned to the stairs as River started up, dressed in a killer red sequined gown that was slit so high up the thigh that Rory was quite sure she wasn't wearing knickers under it. That was something he really didn't want to know about her.

"Up here, sweetie!" River called over the bannister and flashed a grin. "Hello, Mum. Dad." She slipped by them into the loo. "Now, there you are. We've been looking everywhere for you," she told the Ood.

"Hello, Ponds!" The Doctor in a tuxedo took the steps two at a time. "Lost an Ood. Oh, you found it!" He peered over River's shoulder, grinned and pointed. "Ood on a loo."

"Yes, that's quite a tedious joke in some circles." River strapped a vortex manipulator to the Ood's wrist and keyed in coordinates. "We'll be right behind you in the TARDIS," she said as the Doctor tried to explain to Amy and Rory about temporal complexes and whirly dangerbangers and how they all seemed to combine at once to displace a family of Ood, and he and River were at this magnificent ball hosted an old friend of theirs and realized they had to get the Ood home, and there were still two missing. 

"We better get going. We'll be back for breakfast!" River grabbed the Doctor's wrist, and they were out of the house before Amy and Rory could fully grasp what had happened.

"Do you think they'll be back for breakfast?" Rory asked.

"I'll set two extra places," Amy replied.

They did show up to breakfast -- River in safari gear, the Doctor back in his tweed, and both covered head to foot in mud and elephant dung. Graciously, River offered to pay for new carpet after the Doctor tried clean up after them and wound up burning holes in the carpet instead.

Sadly, Amy's gran's good china did not survive the morning.


	8. Family Fixes Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whatever it was, whatever had upset River so badly … well, that was in the future. They could enjoy their time together now. He'd worry about this foreboding feeling later -- spoilers for episode 4 of "Pond Life" and "Angels Take Manhattan" (series 7, episode 5)

The Doctor literally threw the phone across the bay, figuring it would hang itself up. "No, no, no, no, c'mon …," he started to plead before the alarms abruptly ceased. He stared at the green wire in his hand. "Oh, that worked!"

"No, it didn't," said a voice from above.

He sighed. "River, stop mess with my TARDIS."

"I will when you stop nearly imploding her." He heard heels clicking on the glass. "I just got a call from the Adroniack colony …"

"… who's missing their Ood," the Doctor finished, pushing off the swing. He stuck his head above the stairs. "Yes, Rory just called. He must've went back to them." 

River paused about two inches from the Doctor and just blinked, then sighed. "Why am I not surprised?"

"He must think he's bonded to them now." He pulled himself up to the main level, bypassing the stairs. "Right, off to Leadworth to fetch ourselves an Ood … again. What was it, June 2012? No, no, some time has passed. July!"

The Doctor started dashing around the console, flipping switches and twisting knobs. It took a full 30 seconds for him to realize that River wasn't helping. He popped his head around to stare at her. "Something the matter?"

"I'm sorry?"

"You're not helping. You're not even criticizing my driving." He grabbed a portable scanner off the console and ran it over her before slapping his hand against her forehead. "Are you sick? Have we done Phlegmfa yet? If you haven't … well, spoilers. Just make sure you're up to date on your shots. When are you anyhow?"

Her hands moved slowly, absently paging through her diary. There was still plenty to fill in, he noticed, and that was good. "Tricopa's ball was three months ago, when we first rescued the Ood."

"Oh, very good! I was worried we were earlier than that. Don't need to bring you up to speed then. Come on, shake a leg. Got an Ood to persuade to leave your parents. Though, really, I don't think it'd be that bad. Ponds need a butler, yes?"

Mechanically, she moved to assist him.

"Right." He subtly peered at River out of the corner of his eye. Something had happened in the past three months for her. Something very, very bad. Because when they had left that ball and had taken the Ood home -- for the first time apparently -- they had come back to the TARDIS and … well … one thing led to another, and that red gown had looked far better off River than it did on her. Though along the way back to the TARDIS, they did accidentally wind up inspiring "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Oops. Regardless, it'd been a wonderful evening, and he could still feel that delicious tingling in his toes. He'd only dropped her off a couple hours ago from his perspective.

The Doctor slowed his movements and pulled down a monitor in an attempt to take another look. She was dressed in black, her hair tied back and pinned up. The skirts were a bit scorched, and he could smell smoke. She hadn't moved, just kept staring blankly at the console like she'd never seen it before. Shock, he realized. She was in shock. His gut churned uncomfortably, and he keyed in the last coordinate for Leadworth. 

"Something wrong?" he asked quietly, then walked over to her. He gently took her by the shoulders and turned her toward him. "What happened, River? We can fix it, whatever it is. You and I."

"No, we can't." Her voice was thick with tears. "No, we can't fix this. I'm sorry, my love, but it hasn't happened for you yet. I can't tell you. It's just …" She swallowed as her self-control evaporated.

So he held her while she cried, and he had never, ever seen her cry. Not like this. Not big, gaping sobs that seemed to tear deep at her soul and seemed to physically hurt. "I tried," she sobbed. "I really, really tried."

"You did everything that you could." Empty words, considering he didn't even know what was happening, but something about this chilled him to the bone. River Song never lost control. Never. He'd learned to look for her tells, those moments of vulnerability that she did such an excellent job to mask. But this was different. This was so, so different, and whatever she'd seen had been so bad that it caused her to fall apart. 

He heard the TARDIS settle, and before he could say anything, the door popped open.

"About time!" Rory said, striding in. "It's August, you know. I thought you were going to be here two weeks ago? And …" He zeroed in on his daughter. "Did you make her cry, Doctor?"

"No! I did not make her cry! Furthermore, I …"

"Dad," River sobbed, broke away from the Doctor and flung her arms around Rory. 

Rory and the Doctor shared a confused look before Rory patted her back. "There, there," he crooned. "Whatever the Doctor did, I'll fix it. Look, you showed me that room of katanas in the blue sector of the third floor wing of … well, wherever it is. I'm sure the TARDIS will help."

"Doctor, there you are! We … River?" Amy peered in the door, then immediately moved to her husband and daughter. "Doctor, what did you do to her?"

"Why does everyone automatically assume I'm the one who made her cry?" the Doctor huffed. 

"Because, you're her husband." Amy rolled her eyes and wrapped her arms around River from behind to make it a three-way hug. A Pond sandwich, the Doctor thought as the three of them held onto each other. Their own little family, and wasn't that a miraculous thing given all that happened?

"Doctor, get over here and hug her too," Amy ordered.

"What did you think I was doing when we got here?"

"Obviously not fixing things!" Amy pulled the Doctor into the big, mad embrace.

At the center, River began to laugh through her tears. Rory pulled out his handkerchief and handed it to her.

"See? You're fixing it!" Amy proclaimed.

"Actually, I did the fixing first," Rory said.

"But, it required all of us to fix it."

"Please pardon the interruption." The Ood stood in the doorway, tea tray in hand. "Would anyone like a cup of tea?"

\-----

"Whatever happened … how bad was it?" the Doctor asked River, sotto voce, as her parents bade the Ood good-bye. 

"I can't tell you," she said. Her eyes were red-rimmed, but her composure was back, he noticed. "I'm sorry, I can't tell any of you. It hasn't happened for you yet. I'm so, so, sorry, my love."

"Stop that. You sound disturbingly like one of my former selves." Because the Ponds weren't looking, he gently kissed River's forehead. When he pulled away, he noticed Amy smirking at him. He stuck his tongue out at her. She returned the gesture. "You know, we can always take the Ood back later. Ponds!" He waved to them. "Ponds, let's go do something Pond-y!"

"What exactly is something Pond-y?" Rory asked.

"Oh, I don't know. Something boring involving Leadworth and biscuits and hand-knitted sweaters. On second thoughts, how about we all go fire surfing?"

"Let's not and say we did. We'll go with you as long as River's the one bringing us back."

"Do any of you not trust my driving?" the Doctor said with a grunt.

"No," Amy, Rory, and River all replied at once.

As Amy and Rory headed into the TARDIS, the Doctor tried to ignore that funny churning in his gut. Whatever it was, whatever had upset River so badly that she'd gone to pieces … well, that was in the future. They could enjoy their time together now. He'd worry about this foreboding feeling later.


	9. Little and Broken, but Still Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor stood in the doorway to the TARDIS and wondered if his Ponds still needed him -- spoilers for episode 5 of "Pond Life"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In a way, this doesn't fit in with the overall tone of the rest of the stories. But because it's the sequel to the previous four stories and episode 5 of "Pond Life," it's included in this collection even though this is Doctor/River rather than all four of them. We'll return to our happy Ponds in the next one!

It stayed with him, that funny feeling. Standing outside of the Ponds' house in the rain, a month after they'd taken the Ood home -- again -- the Doctor stared at the phone receiver and at the sonic he'd used to wipe it. 

"Hello, sweetie. Are they still not there?"

He looked up at the familiar voice. River stood a few feet away, dressed in a raincoat and carrying an umbrella in one hand, a coffee in the other and a sack from a local donut shop looped over her arm. "You've been trying?"

"For a couple hours now. I didn't want to waste a perfectly good breakout." She joined him in the doorway, shaking out the umbrella collapsing it and setting it just inside the TARDIS. 

"And how was it this time?"

"Oh, someone might have rewired a phone call to the governor, saying there was an infection of the Abna virus. Ordered an immediate evacuation of all the prisoners to the initial cell block built on the planet centuries ago. It'd actually been a fascinating archaeological find, except somehow the criminally insane ward was accidentally put with the serial murderers ward, and there's a bit of a mess. I decided not to stick around."

"You caused a prison riot," he said, unable to keep the pride out of his voice. 

She winked at him. "Just a small one."

"That's my girl. Come along. I accidentally just invented pasta, you know. We can go to Italy. When is it for you? Have we done the lost Ood family from Adroniack yet? Tricopa's ball?"

"No, but I'm looking forward to it." She followed him up to the console, where the still, empty house was on the monitor. She glanced at him, then slid a hand over to cover his. "Are you all right?"

"What? Who? Me? Never better! Come listen to these tracks I laid with my home boys, River!"

"Sweetie, don't ever say 'home boys' again. You know that track is well and truly fried from when I came and pulled you out of there."

"It is not," he huffed and pressed a button. The theme song to The Flintstones played instead. "River!"

"Yabba dabba doo," she chimed and laughed.

"Funny." He tapped her nose. "I'll never be rid of you."

"Never, ever," she said gaily, and not for the first time that hour, his heart seized. Because River was wrong. They were all wrong. Her, Rose, Donna … they would all leave him. Oh, this was different than most. He'd already seen River die, and he'd held her as an infant. All of this was filling in the blanks. But one day, there'd be no more diary pages to fill, and she would be gone as well. 

As for the Ponds … He blinked and swallowed. 

"Well, when Amy and Rory ever get home, why don't we take them out to Italy in 1628? They'll love the Italian, and …" River looked up from where she had started to key in data on the console. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Nothing," the Doctor lied. "Right! Edo 1589!"

"Italy 1628, and stop avoiding the subject." She neatly inserted herself between him and the console. 

"I'm not avoiding anything other than spectacular sushi. Well, I wouldn't try the fugu, but …"

"Doctor." 

He swallowed. Hard. "It's nothing, River. Leave it alone."

"I'm not going to leave it alone. So many times, so often, you convince everyone to leave it alone. Me, my parents. Everything's going to be just fine by running away, isn't it? That's what you did after we first got married. Don't think I didn't figure out that our wedding night was much later for you than for me." She stood her ground, and he bore his gaze into hers, a single hard stare that had the ability to turn entire armies and run. But not River Song. Not at Demon's Run, not in a broken timeline and not now. 

"I stood there long enough to see you leave a message on my parents' answer phone then erase it. How many times is it going to take before you realize just how much you are loved?"

"And I deserve none of it," he snapped at her. "You were the one who pointed out …" and he remembered she hadn't done Demon's Run yet and cut that off. He stalked away from her, wanting to push her out the door and leave. Just go away. He could go invent the unicycle. The bicycle at that. So many things to do, so little time, and he wasn't going to sit there and undergo a psychoanalysis by his bloody wife.

He stood in the doorway, unwilling to order her to leave. Because he didn't want her to leave. Because she would eventually leave on her own anyhow., to go back to Stormcage and continue serving a sentence that he forced her into. So, he looked at the Ponds' home and thought of a little girl asleep on her suitcase waiting for him. "Do they still need me?"

"Oh, my love, they're always going to need you. They're Amy and Rory. Even when you're not there, they still love you. We're a family."

"I don't do domestic," he said petulantly.

She snorted. "Sweetie, that ship sailed long ago." She walked up behind him and laid a hand on his back. "You might not feel like you deserve it, not after everything that's happened. You need someone. Everyone needs someone. Even you and me."

He now allowed himself to look at her, into those green eyes of hers, to see the pain she always masked so very well. Robbed of her childhood, raised to be a weapon to kill him, serving numerous life sentences in his name. She'd never really known a family either other than Amy and Rory, he thought, and wondered if it had been just as hard on her as him.

"This is my family," she quoted. "I found it all on my own. Is little and broken, but still good."

He laughed. "Yeah," he agreed. "Still good." Feeling a bit lighter, he smiled down at her. "Want to go to the premiere of 'Lilo and Stich'?"

She beamed, and his grin grew wider. "We'll be the biggest kids there," she said.

"I'll get the mouse ears, you take us into the vortex!" The Doctor sprinted toward the stairs as River turned on the invisibility shield and started the sequence to dematerialize the TARDIS. They never noticed a devastated Amy turning down the block and heading for home.


	10. Pond Family Kissing Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rory is initiated into a club he has no desire to be a part of at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has spoilers for "Dinosaurs on a Spaceship." If you haven't seen it, you might want to wait to read this fic.

River arrived at the Ponds carrying a stick of dynamite, her hair mostly fallen out of the elastic she'd had it tied back with. Her trousers had a hole at the knee, the elbows of her shirt were singed. Her face was streaked with soot, dirt, and a hint of engine oil. "I got here as quickly as I could," she said, tucking the mobile that kept her tied to her parents in her pouch. "What's wrong?"

Amy and Rory sat at the table, glasses of wine in front of them. Amy lifted hers in salute. "Figured we'd be the first to tell you."

"Wait, we need to check …" She pulled out her diary. 

"The Doctor kissed me," Rory cut in.

River froze, pages caught between her fingers. "Really?"

"We were on a spaceship with dinosaurs," Amy supplied.

River dropped into the third seat, picked up the glass of wine waiting for her, and toasted Rory. "Welcome to the club, Dad."

"I didn't want to join." Rory scowled and downed the rest of his wine in one gulp. "At least," he admitted after that fortification with alcohol, "there was no tongue."

"Pity," River said fondly.

"Just a bit with mine. There was far more on my end than his." Amy ran a finger around the rim of her wine glass and smiled fondly. "He was too busy trying to get away. Could have used a breath mint."

"Bless. It really is better when you have the handcuffs." River enjoyed seeing Rory gape and Amy blush and giggle. Apparently, they'd been working on that bottle of wine well before she got there. She wondered how many more were in the kitchen.

"OK, we really don't want to hear about your executive privileges," Amy said.

"Executive privileges?"

"You're his wife. Therefore … you have executive privileges."

"No. No, we don't need to hear about River's 'executive privileges' with the Doctor," Rory declared. "It's strange enough to even think he acts adult long enough to … did you know he still has a Christmas list?"

River tut-tutted a bit. "Why not? I have a Christmas list."

"Really? Well, what's on it?" Amy leaned back in her chair. "You're hard enough to buy for as is, what with Stormcage and popping all over the universe as much as the Doctor."

"Spoilers." It was a good way to cover herself, River decided. Besides, some of the list she would _never_ show her parents.

"Just one little thing?" Amy coaxed.

River considered, then flipped through her diary. "So, you've done the Silurian ark. How's Granddad?"

"On a plane to Rio de Janeiro," Rory said.

"Oh, I'll be seeing him soon then," River commented absently and kept flipping through. "All right. I found one." She turned the book toward Amy.

Amy scanned it and winged an eyebrow. "Really?"

"What little kid didn't want to?"

"Point. But …"

"Please, Mum?"

"Fine." Amy tossed back the rest of her wine. "But, given the time, you're driving."

\-----

"So, I heard about the fireworks the opening night at Disneyland spelled out an unusual message," the Doctor said three days later as he wandered onto Walt Disney's private balcony at Disneyland. It was 1955, and the infamous original park had opened earlier that day. "Wanted to see what that was about."

"What did the message say?" River turned to him, a cap with mouse ears perched atop her curls. She was tired from the long day, and Amy and Rory already had gone back to the hotel they'd secured. Three days in Disneyland … the day it opened. She'd always wanted to go.

The Doctor smirked and winged his gaze skyward to see the words "Hello, sweetie," still lingering in the air. "Why did you summon me here, you bad, bad girl?"

"Because I wanted to enjoy Disneyland with my family. And I wanted to claim my rights as the executive member of the Pond Family Kissing Club."

"Kissing club?" The Doctor clapped his hands and grinned, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Really? A kissing club! Oh, I like the sound of that. Am I a member?"

"Oh, sweetie. You're the entire reason it exists." And River moved in to exercise her executive privileges.


End file.
